A radio play written with Pasha
EXT. ANCIENT JERUSALEM STREET - NIGHT
Sound of revellers in the distance. Footsteps down a dark alley.
VAMPIRE
You there!
JUDAS
Yes?
VAMPIRE
You’re one of those Christians, aren’t you?
JUDAS
(boastful)
Indeed, I’m a close personal friend of the Messiah himself
VAMPIRE
I’d keep that quiet if I were you. Your man Jesus is starting to make a lot of enemies. Offending the powerful and ignoring the powerless.
JUDAS
He’d never ignore anyone in need
VAMPIRE
Oh, wouldn’t he? Then why are we all still at the mercy of Rome? And why did he turn me away when I asked him for help?
JUDAS
(scared)
Wait, you’re the demon who came to our fireside!
VAMPIRE
I’m not a demon
JUDAS
Your wiles won’t work here, demon
VAMPIRE
What wiles? All I’m saying is: can you honestly claim you’re completely satisfied with your Messiah?
JUDAS
Sound of revellers in the distance. Footsteps down a dark alley.
VAMPIRE
You there!
JUDAS
Yes?
VAMPIRE
You’re one of those Christians, aren’t you?
JUDAS
(boastful)
Indeed, I’m a close personal friend of the Messiah himself
VAMPIRE
I’d keep that quiet if I were you. Your man Jesus is starting to make a lot of enemies. Offending the powerful and ignoring the powerless.
JUDAS
He’d never ignore anyone in need
VAMPIRE
Oh, wouldn’t he? Then why are we all still at the mercy of Rome? And why did he turn me away when I asked him for help?
JUDAS
(scared)
Wait, you’re the demon who came to our fireside!
VAMPIRE
I’m not a demon
JUDAS
Your wiles won’t work here, demon
VAMPIRE
What wiles? All I’m saying is: can you honestly claim you’re completely satisfied with your Messiah?
JUDAS
(reluctant)
I did hope he might take more decisive action, but all in good time
VAMPIRE
You’ve devoted the best years of your life to following this man, and what has he ever done for you?
JUDAS
He’s shown me many great miracles
VAMPIRE
Miracles are fine, but will Jesus be there when you need a little money in your old age?
JUDAS
There are more important things than money
VAMPIRE
For Jesus, yes. He’ll never be short of admirers to help him out. But what about a poor, lowly disciple? Wouldn’t you like a piece of land to call your own?
JUDAS
I suppose so, yes, but I could never leave his service
VAMPIRE
If only you could make a little money for yourself, and also encourage the Messiah to be more decisive. It’d be a perfect situation for you, wouldn’t it?
JUDAS
In theory
VAMPIRE
Well then, how would you like to know that the chief priests are planning to arrest Jesus?
JUDAS
That’s terrible! I must warn him!
VAMPIRE
Why? If he’s as wonderful as you claim, won’t he be able to convince them of his rightness? And if they’re going to arrest him anyway, why not profit a little from it? Once you have the ear of the priests, you might even be able to intercede on his behalf.
JUDAS
I suppose...
VAMPIRE
Good. See, it’s only logic. No tricks. Now...
Judas screams as the vampire bites him
I did hope he might take more decisive action, but all in good time
VAMPIRE
You’ve devoted the best years of your life to following this man, and what has he ever done for you?
JUDAS
He’s shown me many great miracles
VAMPIRE
Miracles are fine, but will Jesus be there when you need a little money in your old age?
JUDAS
There are more important things than money
VAMPIRE
For Jesus, yes. He’ll never be short of admirers to help him out. But what about a poor, lowly disciple? Wouldn’t you like a piece of land to call your own?
JUDAS
I suppose so, yes, but I could never leave his service
VAMPIRE
If only you could make a little money for yourself, and also encourage the Messiah to be more decisive. It’d be a perfect situation for you, wouldn’t it?
JUDAS
In theory
VAMPIRE
Well then, how would you like to know that the chief priests are planning to arrest Jesus?
JUDAS
That’s terrible! I must warn him!
VAMPIRE
Why? If he’s as wonderful as you claim, won’t he be able to convince them of his rightness? And if they’re going to arrest him anyway, why not profit a little from it? Once you have the ear of the priests, you might even be able to intercede on his behalf.
JUDAS
I suppose...
VAMPIRE
Good. See, it’s only logic. No tricks. Now...
Judas screams as the vampire bites him
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