Bus CXX

Louisa: Wait, where's Jack?

Scott: Sick

Louisa: Oh no. He's gonna miss our friend-iversary. It's one year today since we became proper friends.

Scott: What happened a year ago?

Louisa: Nothing. We just threw a dart at a calendar. But that doesn't make today any less special. I even wrote a song to commemorate the occasion.

Scott: You were gonna sing?

Louisa: We both were. It's a duet. And then I was gonna do the Polish national anthem for an encore.

Scott: Yeah, I'm starting to think Jack's not really sick

Bus CXIX

Jack: What're you doing?

Scott: Trying to get this dog shit off my shoe

Jack: Sorry I asked

Louisa: That reminds me. You know how my birthday's coming up? Well, I was thinking maybe we could go for a meal.

Jack: What, just the two of us? Awkward.

Louisa: I meant Scott too

Jack: Oh, okay. But he'll be wearing different shoes, right?

Louisa: Me and my old friends always used to go for a meal on each other's birthdays. You know, before they decided I wasn't cool enough to hang out with them.

Jack: Well, now you're cool enough to hang out with us. Y'know, Scott, I think that's actually cat shit.

Scott: What's the difference?

Jack: Well, it came out of a cat

Louisa: So what do you think?

Jack: Yeah, I guess. Usually I just resent people on their birthdays, so this could be an interesting change of pace. Where would we go though?

Scott: Have you guys ever been to Chug-Chug? They've got these amazing magic-eye puzzles on the tablecloths.

Jack: Yeah, but if it was a choice between their food and your shoe, I'd lick the shoe

Louisa: Anyway, I was thinking maybe somewhere a bit more classy

Scott: I can't afford anywhere classy

Louisa: Oh, my mum would pay for it all. Or my dad. They're fighting over the chance to pay for it all, actually.

Jack: It's nice to know that even when people stop loving each other, they can still find ways to fight over money

Bus CXVIII

Louisa: Thinking about getting a job

Jack: Big mistake, Lou-Lou

Louisa: It's a mistake to want to better myself?

Jack: Yes, but that's really a separate issue

Louisa: Work is good for the soul

Jack: Last week you said the same thing about muffins

Louisa: Well, the two things aren't mutually exclusive

Jack: Find yourself a job at a muffin factory, and you're all set

Bus CXVII

Jack: Did you see the school's got a new sponsor?

Louisa: I just finished writing an angry editorial about it for the Gazette

Jack: How can you write an editorial when you're not the editor?

Louisa: The question you ought to ask is how can it be appropriate for a school to get sponsored by a company that makes rifles

Jack: To be fair, they don't actually make rifles. Just rifle bullets.

Louisa: Oh, that's okay then!

Jack: If they didn't make the bullets, people would still own rifles. They'd just be hitting each other over the head with them or something.

Louisa: Well, that still sounds better than everyone shooting each other

Jack: Yeah, I guess it does. Didn't really think that one through.

Louisa: If we've gotta have a sponsor, it should at least be something in keeping with the character of the school

Jack: Like what?

Louisa: I dunno. Cheap cider or something.

Jack: Is that really any better than guns?

Louisa: A little bit, yeah. We already have a drinking problem at this school. We don't yet have a shooting problem.

Jack: Except heroin

Louisa: Well yeah, obviously

Jack: This is kind of a crappy school, isn't it

Bus CXVI

Jack: Fucking Phockford

Louisa: Huh?

Jack: Ronnie Phelps. Lizzie Rockford. Phockford.

Louisa: Clever

Jack: Why doesn't she like me?

Louisa: I really can't imagine. You're angry, bitter, cynical. Everything a teenage girl could want.

Jack: I just feel so empty

Louisa: You can share my sandwich if you want

Jack: Not that kind of empty

Bus CXV

Louisa: Would you rather be able to fly or turn invisible?

Jack: Both

Louisa: You have to choose

Jack: Then neither

Louisa: What, you're too good for just one superpower?

Jack: What's the point of being able to fly if everyone can see me? It'd be ten minutes, tops, before I got declared a danger to national security and shot down by anti-aircraft guns.

Louisa: Okay, then forget about flight and just choose invisibility

Jack: That's no good either. If I can turn invisible but still have to walk everywhere, people will just keep bumping into me all the time.

Louisa: Fine, what power do you want? Totally free choice.

Jack: Selective hearing. I wanna be able to block out all the stupid things that people say to me.

Louisa: That's really lame

Jack: Yeah, but whenever people say it's lame, I'll just block them out

Louisa: Still lame

Jack: Alright, what would your power be then?

Louisa: I dunno. Maybe really good cooking skills. I always burn everything.

Jack: Cool. We could be a superhero tag team.

Louisa: Not much of a tag team. Somewhere there's a deaf chef who's got as much power as the two of us combined.

Bus CXIV

Louisa: Has your sister found a new job yet?

Scott: Nope, she's had to start signing on

Louisa: Oh dear. Well, at least she's getting some money in.

Scott: I guess, but she's pretty down about the whole thing. It doesn't help that they made her jump through all these hoops to qualify.

Louisa: What kind of hoops?

Scott: Actual hoops. It was part of the Unemployed Sports Day.

Louisa: What's that?

Jack: It's a new government initiative to get the unemployed in shape for a future of manual labour. And they sell tickets to help fund the unemployment benefits.

Louisa: What, so a load of rich people can point and laugh?

Jack: It's mostly family members screaming and crying, but yeah. In theory.