Through Thick and Thin

‘I envy slender tapers,
And creaseless wallpapers.
Such attractive pattern,
No costume could fatten.’

‘Dearest, you’re the queerest,
See, your figure’s merest.
Don’t put aside dinner,
To be any thinner.’

‘Stone heavier than Charlene,
Two above Ms Magazine.
If you can’t be more supportive,
Our relationship’s abortive.’

‘But I love your current mould,
For it’s perfect size to hold.
When desiring beautiful halls,
Place mirrors on the walls.’